RFB New Host Profile: Cookie Puss of “Dead Air”

 

We got the scoop on Cookie Puss (a.k.a. Celestial Person), the self-described “craziest cake in the universe,” who has been entertaining New Yorkers for over three decades and promises to “make your brain turn to ice cream.”

RFB: Tell us a little about the creative (or other) path(s) that led to you doing your show and to RFB.

CP: Well, gee, I had a long career in television advertising (maybe you’ve seen some of my commercials?) starting pretty much from when I was born (1972) and came to Earth from my home planet, Planet Birthday. I got interested in radio in the early 90s because Howard Stern started making fun of me on his show. I was just a kid, and that really hurt. He was really really really really mean! So I decided that I was going to become a radio host too, and be even better than Howard Stern! And now I am! I AM BETTER THAN HOWARD STERN!!!

RFB: Why did you choose RFB?

CP: It had the best logo. Also, I met Girl Wunder who does the show Virtual Voyager at a bar on Planet Zoloft, and she said RFB was a great place to land!

Cookie Puss, the craziest cake in the galaxy.

RFB: I love that you’re an alien! And I have to admit that Fudgie the Whale is (and will always be) my favorite birthday cake! Tell us a little about your collaborators and what listeners can expect from each show.

C.P.: Wow. I mean… wow… Fudgie is your favorite ice cream cake? You do realize I’m an ice cream cake too, right? That’s a little rude I think, and maybe something you could have kept to yourself, but I will let it go for now. I mean, I love ALL my Black and Brown brothers and sisters, and Fudgie is part of my family, but if you must know, he’s a total dick. He feels like he owns Father’s Day too, like none of us can even be a part of it. “To a Whale of a Dad,” my arse…

One of my main collaborators is my girlfriend, Cookie Chick, who I’m kind of a row with right now. (She says I don’t give her enough privacy; at least that’s what she said in her diary.) She hasn’t come on my show yet, but sometimes works the booth while I’m broadcasting. (She says she will appear next Easter.)

My other fave collaborator is my younger cousin, Cookie O’Puss. He lives in Ireland and he’s a total drunk (seriously, they even named a beer after him). He’s usually so arseholed that when he comes on the show I have to duct tape the microphone to his mouth. He does help me put together my playlists though, which are usually a drunken mess like him. So what you can expect from Dead Air is a lot of crazy music and sounds put together by a drunken Irish cake and played by the best DJ in the galaxy!

RFB: The COVID-19 pandemic continues, but that hasn’t stopped you from debuting a show! Tell us about the challenges and rewards of your process so far — and maybe a little about your in-home studio setup as well.

Cookie Puss’ intergalactic home setup.

C.P.: Oh man, I really hate this pandemic! The hair salons and beauty parlors are all closed — it’s getting really UGLY out there — hahahahahahahaaaa! (Sorry, I tell a lot of dumb jokes.) And when I had to shelter in place for two months, all I could tell were INSIDE jokes (hahhahahahaaa)! COVID DID NOT STOP COOKIE PUSS (but I did get some anti-virus software just in case). The only thing that can stop me is when someone leaves me outside in the sun.

My studio setup is on my flying saucer. Basically, it has 11 XD-Z98 microphones attached to a phase neuralizer with an electronic thumb, and the control room has an anti-thermal shield with photovoltaic pneumoslacks.

RFB: What is the takeaway you hope people get from Dead Air?

C.P: Well, I hope they can take away all my relationship problems with Cooke Chick! Other than that, I hope they can get a life! I mean my show is on at 4:00 am for fuck’s sake, why are they even up? I don’t think my show is doing much for their mental health. Sorry, I know I shouldn’t speak badly of the mentally ill, there’s too much stigma. When I started taking meds for my schizophrenia, all my friends stopped talking to me (hahahahahahahhahahaaa)!!!  Thanks for the interview, and I hope you’ll listen to my show. Byeeeeee!!!!

Tune in to “Dead Air” Thursdays at 4:00 am.